You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further adohere are the 2010  Darwin awards.8th PlaceIn Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of waterafter squeezing...

Little Susie was not the best student in catholic School . Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell me Susie, who created the un...

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?" The man thought a ...

An Irishman in a wheel chair entered a restaurant one afternoon and Asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the Restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" ...

This came in on the email. I thought it was funny enough to share. "10 Things A Woman Wants In A Man" (Original List) 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially Successful 4. A Caring Listene...

1. NAMES If Jane, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Jane, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to ...

1. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough. 2. Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card? 3. Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing! 4. Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens...

Beware! Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but.... 2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia 2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influe...

1: Don't swim in the ocean. Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water also known as oceans. The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is t...

3 Nuns die together in a horrible car crash and, since they lived a pure Christian life,are waiting at the pearly gates after they arrive at heaven. Under a condition, each Nun must answer a ques...

Teacher: “Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?” Little Johnny: “None.” Teacher: “Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many ...

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into Bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your Sleep, Ralph..' ...

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong, Yes, Nurse Tracy , said Mr. Wallace...

The Koala Bear and Lil' Lizard A koala was sitting in a gum tree...... smoking a joint. When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?' The koala sai...

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one hell of a hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget ...

I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend. To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,00...

There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and and goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examina...

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. 'Nurse', he mumbles, from behin...

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate...

After a hard night's drinking in their local bar, a man brings his friends back to his new apartment. He shows them the Kitchen, Bathroom and Living room and finally, the Bedroom. Whilst in the Bedr...

Olympic Funnies Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back: 1. Weight-lifting commentator: "This is ...

Ultimate police comments - - - These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country: #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went thr...

I am a 60-year-old woman who is married to a man who acts like he hates me. In public, he pretends he loves me and talks about how wonderful I am. But in private, he shakes his finger in my face ...

Order pizza and other food to their house and pick it up at their doorstep claiming that you don‘t have a phone. Stand over the plants in your yard with a hose and Scream, "I have your life in my h...

When there‘s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn‘t you. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. Ask...

Dear Internet Porn, These last ten years have been quite a trip, have they not? My letter to you now, however, is not one of celebration... I don't feel like we are the same anymore. We just don't ...

Below are some outrageous but true sex laws. While reading these laws, remember that in some way, there was such a problem that there was a law made to stop these acts. Just remember that as you are r...

No matter where you work, there is always a need to show how committed you are to condescending onto other people. Use these at are own free will to make people feel right at home. 1. Thank you. We...

Yes, you can get your whole hand inside your partner’s pussy. For women who are into massive penetration, nothing is a bigger turn-on. No experience is necessary—for either of you—but if your gal pa...

1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is ...