Your Search Results for: cow milk

There comes a time in every man‘s life when he needs to settle down and simply milk a cow.  There are tons of techniques out there when it comes to milking cows, but this has definitely got to be the most effective one.  So, how do you milk a cow?

Ever wonder what we would drink if cow's suddenly stopped producing milk? Well ladies and gentlemen we have finally found the answer. Check out this delicious bucket of cow puss. I bet that would go so well with a plates of Oreo's.

Many people try to say that skim milk is really good for you but I know better than that. What better place to get your milk than straight from the source. A cow! All that pasteurization nonsense is for pansies.

It is a tough life working on a dairy farm. You have to wake up, feed the cows, clean the cow shit and then pump the cows for their milk. Maybe the only bright part of the day is cleaning the teats. I wouldn't mind cleaning those teats too.

What better way to look exactly like a cow than to get nice and plump then pregnant so you can squirt milk out of your nipples.  All you need is so black and white spots and a bell around your neck and you'll be ready for the pasture in no time.

The Japanese have a unique way of making sure everyone gets their healthy dose of calcium and it all starts with dudes in cow costumes.  Scares the shit out of people into drinking something they didn't really even want which makes it a great sales technique.

Hew cow! There's no milk down there!

I am starting to think that our only purpose on Earth is to hold other animals teets and squirt milk into their mouths.  The least we could do is return the favor.

I always wondered how they got strawberry milk. Now I know. It's not even milk at all, it's pus. Juicy delicious pus. Mmmm just like Mom used to make. Way to go on the 2 minute plus pus draining. It sounds like when I have to piss after a good bit of drinking.

Every man that has or had a girlfriend/wife will agree, if this were true, there would be no milk to buy at the stores. Rampant whole cow thefts would become an epidemic.

I can understand people's obsession with milk considering that it comes from such a wonderful place but considering you got it from your mom don't you think you should quit now.  Your all grown up and you still drink cow mommy tit juice. 

That is what the email said when I opened it up. It also said this, "MILKING MY COW UDDERS LIKE A COW.ANY IDEAS PLEASE COMMENT THANKS." So go ahead and please comment. I like the mouse traps in the background, you know there is some freaky shit going down in that house.

It‘s no damn wonder men have a huge fascination for breasts the fucking things feed us for the first few months of our lives. Yet somehow the whole milk shooting out of them factor sometimes makes them look a like a drink dispenser or animal parts.

I am going to be completely honest with everyone today. Watching this video till the end, I found myself just about ready to throw up my breakfast. While there is not blood or shit like that, something about drinking that cup of cow ooze just did not sit well with me. Enjoy Everyone!

That is of course whatever HOMO tastes like. I personally have no idea and would rather not find out. I guess this is why I always buy whole milk at the store. Of course some of you weirdos out there might want to know what homo tastes like, so now is your chance. Head on out to the supermarket, grab a carton of this milk and experience homo, first hand.

Don't let the evil corporations push this whole cow's milk thing on you when you have a perfectly good alternatve waiting for you in your shirt ladies.  Not everyone will be able to do it so for you we have special breast pumps designed like a mans mouth.

It's hard to get milk any fresher than this but it also doesn't seem like the most appetizing way to get it either.  Something about the cow teet and nipple that doesn't have the glamour or the appeal of a human teet.

Every once in a while you get sick of all these pasteurization methods and just want your milk from the place it originally came from.  Of course once you realize how sick your gonna get from all the creepy bacteria your stomach has no immunity to you'll rethink that whole outlook.

Screw the damn cookies, I will take those nice ass titties with my milk, any time. Speaking of milk, I need to go grab a glass for breakfast, maybe I can find some titties to go with them as well.

Granted you will not get any milk for yourself from this chick. It does leave the question open "If she is that good at sucking an utter, I wonder how good she would be sucking my ...member?" That my friends is the question that needs to be answered. I am guessing she would suck your ass dry.

Those crazy Asians are at it again. Her titties are lactating quite nicely and after watching the milk soak up her blouse, he just has to get a taste.

Wouldn't it be easier to just go to the store for some milk?

I do however believe that he would get sick from these milk and cookies. They do look a little old and that milk is most likely sour. After a look at this picture, I will probably never enjoy a glass of milk and cookies. It just won't be the same, I will have this fat asses image running through my head.

I can‘t understand why we all just don‘t drink breast milk all the time instead of cows milk. It already has it‘s own natural tap and you don‘t have to worry about stepping in huge piles of woman shit while your walking around the farm.

Why do people have to do this? It is fucking sick. Too bad that fucking cow didn't bite down on his dick. That's what he deserves.

Milk Factories sure have changed since the good old days. Here is a photo back when they used to use grandmas as their primary source of milk. I bet those cows loved life a lot more back then.

Nothing like shoving your hand up a simulated cow rectum to give you that authentic farm feeling.  Now after you have finished foreplay it's time to show you how to mount the cow without being crushed by all it's weight.

I feel so bad for this little dog. He had to get the owner that was a bizarre milk loving freak. This guy seems to enjoy some doggy milk as you can see.

Every once in a while when the cow stops working I use my house cow to do the work around the farm.  It's not nearly as easy but after I crack the whip a few times she stops complaining and starts working.

Asians are really lucky because when they want milk they just walk out into the middle of the street and find one of these ladies who are lined up on every block. The milk tastes a little sour but at least you can suck it straight from the tap.

Every once in a while you gotta take your cow out to pasture and let her get back to her roots.  Then she can never blame you for her away from the place where she was really happy.... and ate grass.

This big ass cow was created by combining elephant DNA with cows.  Actually that's not true but I figured there had to be some reason for this cow being taller than a human.  Lets all be thankful cows don't eat meat.

There is nothing like a freshly squeezed glass of breast milk. I bet this dude got a shit load of milk out of those big natural boobs. However, I am not sure if he was using his mouth or gigantic nose to suck the milk out of those huge nipples.

Fuck it. Whip them til they drop.

Remember to drink some milk with all that turkey.

I realize that you don't like the way milk tastes but that is no reason to go spitting it all over the kitchen floor.  Besides we are gonna bake some shit later so if your finished making a mess I would like to use whatever you have left.

I don‘t drink milk but this is a great way to get me to start. Sure I might shit my pants a few minutes afterwards but that will be well worth slurping up all those nourishing juices.

Nothing quenches your thirst quite like a refreshing bottle of cow urine. Try it on the rocks, heat it up, or even use it as a mixer. And if your lucky enough to live in a farm town, then don't waste your money on a bottle. Go straight to the source. Mmm mmm.

Who needs livestock when you have your own personal Asian milk machine? I love how they went as far as to paint the fucking spots on this chick. A for effort, you crazy Asians have impressed once again. Now may I have a glass of milk please? Perhaps a blow job while your at it.

A good old fashioned kitchen prank will always bring a smile to my face. This chic wasn't smiling though, she was pretty pissed off and didn't fuck her boyfriend for a whole month after.

These people are so lucky that cow didn't take down the whole plane.  If one of those wings was clipped a little harder this would be a tape of the pilot and co-pilots death.

Nothing like going out to the barn after a hard days work and squeezing out a fresh glass of beer.  Sure it's warm and tastes like shit but the fact that an animal produces it for free means you will never run out.

In this first adventure Kung Fu cow defends himself against the local ruffians who are intent on milking her juicy teets.  Stay tuned for next episode when she breaks her way out of the slaughterhouse.

Every now and then animals love to get in on the photo bombing action. For example, this lovely couple just got married and is posing for a nice romantic photo. The cows in the background have a little romance of their own planned. They humped there way into the photo bomb books.

I am starting to put together an X-rated milk campaign that involves nothing but chicks getting their tits milked.  With a marketing campaign like that there would be drinking milk for dinner.

These two pictures contrast in a way that makes me feel confused.  On the one hand you got some ladies ass hanging out but on the other she is elbow deep in cow ass.  Decisions decisions.

Milk Lovers from all across the country gathered and this epic convention. The finale of this show came when two lucky fans got to partake in a tradition. Watch as the nude, milky mess unfolded on camera.

Fuck the the steak, take the cow.

If you know whats good for you stay away from this beast till it gets what it wants.  Otherwise in your failed attempt to stand in line for chocolate milk your gonna wind up getting hit with some godzilla flame breath shrapnel.

OR, it could be used to give those nipples the perfect tan.

What's better than a cow with one head?  Well I know what you are thinking and it's not a cow with two heads.  That just leaves another mouth to make all that annoying mooing sound.  They need to give that thing some bionic parts and lasers so the second head fits in a little more.

With all the fast food competition in the market place today, Burger King decided to take a new approach on how they will obtain their meat products. They're the first company to take the "slaughter by train" approach.

There's nothing like that taste of sweet, fresh Asian breast milk. I think the cat can agree with me on that one. This cat is now known as the titty kitty.

My sources tell me that there is a cow in this picture but I haven't found it yet.  I wanna believe them but when I look at it all I see is some smokin hot girls ass.  Maybe it's one of those stereograms you have to stare at for a while.  I think I can manage staring at this picture for a while.

Granted I am not sure this is the method in which a monkey should obtain milk but who am I to judge. Honestly the monkey breastfeeding doesn't freak me out all that much. The fact that the lady who is breastfeeding them looks about 60 is what bothers me.

Milk is getting pricey now, and when the price of milk goes up, fists start flying. You see the first guy to get laid out, he's about worthless, who's going to feed you baby little man laying out on the floor?

Kinda makes it hard to concentrate on milking the cow with distractions like that.  If cows really looked like this i think every guy would wanna become a farmer.

The bad part is the cow got totally fucking run over by that train and is now definitely dead.  The good part is in 15 minutes there will be free hamburger and steak.

Ah yes the creativity of some people just amaze me.

The best part about this condition is you never have to pick your nose. Just imagine you get that itch and all you have to do is provide a lick. At times I think I would love to be reborn as a deformed cow. Preferably in India of course.

It's an effective technique.

There must be a rush to go see all the animal killing that's going on in these other countries.  If you are surprised at how little they care about the animals you should see how common executions are over there.

This is like right out of a cartoon. I love it how homeboy tries to sneak up all slick like only to get a nasty drop kick from his four legged friend.

I love them boots, classic!!

That's one hell of a job. I'd real like to see one of those job descriptions.

You ever laugh so hard chocolate milk comes out of your nose? Well, she might not have been laughing, but she was taking some serious face fucking till the chocolate milk just exploded. So awesome! Click Here For More Facial Abuse!

Holy Cow! Yes, I literally mean COW! Look at this fatties gigantic boobs, just wow. I honestly think that if she stood up, those puppies would cause her to fall head first to the floor. Luckily they would also supply enough cushion to break the fall. That right there is a win win situation if I have ever seen one. Hope yall enjoy these over sized watermelon tits!

If you live in this house you better hope to god you remember everything you needed in one trip because if you make it all the way to the top and forgot something your gonna be in for a world of hurtin.

If you missed getting milk straight from the source the first time around here is your oppurtunity to make up for that. Only thing that sucks is every time this lady comes by we gotta put plastic tarps down all over the place.

My rule of thumb is never to give anyone a ride anywhere because you never know what funny shit they might try to pull.  That being said if a cow ever asks you for a ride you better say yes because you don't know when an animal will ever talk to you again.

Next time you are complaining about your lot in life remember one thing. Some cultures require you to shove your face in a cows asshole. If that‘s not enough to make you thankful then just go out and get hit by a bus.