That's my coochie lips dude...

I have seen some large meat curtains in my time so we better have a closer look then.

since when do they let you keep your metal frame sunglasses....?

When I was 15, I had a neighbor who would do yard work in short cutoffs that basically only left the seam in the crotch. She saw me jerking off watching her through the tinted (apparently not tinted enough) sliding glass door, and called me a pervert. She kept wearing those shorts, I kept jerking off behind the sliding glass door.