He wanted a footlong

wooo woo woo woo WAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA ooOOP OOOoooOOOP

-actual boon sounds

The "self spermer" should have leant forwards...arms outstretched...legs apart....as the 1st tribesmen approached him he should have immediately "strained"(as in "trying to fart" BUT put ALL of his energy into SHITTING OUT RAW SEWAGELIKE SHITE!!! It'd "blind" the 1st primates "attack".

Literally anything is an excuse for them to lash out with exessive violence.

Among adults, one exhibitionist is not that much of a big deal.

You tell him to pull his pants up and get lost.

I got flashed more than I care to remember when I was a kid and all anybody did was telling him to get dressed again.