THIEVES!!!! BASTIDS!!! That is a badly rewritten part of The Ultimate Guy Quiz. I know because I WROTE IT 30 YEARS AGO.
Here is the entire thing...
THE ULTIMATE GUY QUIZ
1. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play.
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to.
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time
only after you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
b) your blood-test results.
c) five tequila slammers.
3. You should time your orgasms so that:
a) your partner climaxes first.
b) you both climax simultaneously.
c) you don't miss SPORTSCENTER.
4. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking.
b) screwing.
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling with a woman you've just had sex with is:
a) the best part of the experience.
b) the second best part of the experience.
c) $300 extra.
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the past month.
You tell her that it is:
a) no concern of yours.
b) not a problem- she can join your gym.
c) a conservative estimate.
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth.
b) an oxymoron.
c) a moron.
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entre.
b) primer is to paint.
c) a line is to an amusement-park ride.
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself
saying at the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends".
b) "I'm not in right now; please leave a message after the beep".
c) "Welcome to dumpsville. Population: One lonely bitch".
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that
sort of intimacy.
b) is uptight and a waste of time.
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
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THIEVES!!!! BASTIDS!!! That is a badly rewritten part of The Ultimate Guy Quiz. I know because I WROTE IT 30 YEARS AGO.
Here is the entire thing...
THE ULTIMATE GUY QUIZ
1. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play.
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to.
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time
only after you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
b) your blood-test results.
c) five tequila slammers.
3. You should time your orgasms so that:
a) your partner climaxes first.
b) you both climax simultaneously.
c) you don't miss SPORTSCENTER.
4. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking.
b) screwing.
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling with a woman you've just had sex with is:
a) the best part of the experience.
b) the second best part of the experience.
c) $300 extra.
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the past month.
You tell her that it is:
a) no concern of yours.
b) not a problem- she can join your gym.
c) a conservative estimate.
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth.
b) an oxymoron.
c) a moron.
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entre.
b) primer is to paint.
c) a line is to an amusement-park ride.
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself
saying at the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends".
b) "I'm not in right now; please leave a message after the beep".
c) "Welcome to dumpsville. Population: One lonely bitch".
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that
sort of intimacy.
b) is uptight and a waste of time.
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.