Poppin’…..

Wtf pop the top and start drinking it then fuck her in that loose shit box

That's disgusting who won warm champagne.

Millard Sniffington IV, wine critic: This is a new sparkling wine from Butthole Breweries. The bottle was horrible smelling, and I got a disease on my hand from where I touched the label. Tasting this revealed an aroma of sweaty ass crack, and it has a flavorful but unpleasant after-taste of half digested corn and used toilet paper. The gas pressurizing the bottle smelled like one of Napoleon's famous farts in a bottle.

Final thought; put your wine in a refrigerated cooler instead of someone's asshole.